A Tribute to my Wife...

Well, it's Valentine's Day. That day where everybody rushes to get flowers and gushes emotionally in their Hallmarks. I do it... well... not the flowers thing. CaraLee and I have an understanding. I understand that all CaraLee would see is dollar signs if I were to buy her flowers on Valentine's Day. Instead, I usually like to get her a card and write a bunch of really mushy stuff in it. The thing with me is, I don't like people reading any cards that I've written in that aren't addressed to them. (I write cards for specific people, not for the whole room to share.) That's a post for another day, though.

This year, it's different. CaraLee will probably be mortified by this, but I'm going to do it anyways. I'm going to write - and post - a tribute to my beautiful wife.

CaraLee and I met long before I was interested in "settling down". When I finally discovered her though, I knew that I had to be sure because CaraLee deserved respect - even as a high school kid. I'm not one for remembering dates and special occasions, but - with her - I remember the "official" date that we began our relationship. On May 29th, 1991, we carved our initials on a tree down the road from her house. There was no looking back...

A little less than 2 years later, we were sitting in the same seats at a Vancouver Canucks game (at the Pacific Coliseum) where we had our first date. I remember thinking that it was a bit of a nuisance taking a girl to a hockey game... there were so many of my friends who would enjoy it more. On this night, March 20th, 1993, we were engaged. (Nothing says "getting engaged" like beating the New York Islanders.) This set the wheels in motion for the longest engagement in history...

On July 9th, 1994, we were married. On a recent date, we tried to remember significant moments from the ceremony and reception. CaraLee did well (sooprize, sooprize...) but I was better at recalling world events from that same time. It was a good time of life... the Nucks went to the Stanley Cup final, only losing to the Rangers in game 7. Brazil won the World Cup in a shootout with Italy. Oh yeah... and we got married.

Marriage was much different than I had expected, and not necessarily for the better. While this doesn't sound like much of a tribute, it is... just wait for it. The honeymoon period was nothing like it was advertised to be. The first couple of years are all about learning to live with one another. Long story short, married life gets way better with time.


Most people know about CaraLee's intelligence, wisdom, thoughtfulness and gentleness. (I separated intelligence & wisdom on purpose.) CaraLee was a brilliant student. Having been with her from high school through university graduation, I figured that her success was mainly due to high discipline and work ethic. As time went on, I realized that it was more than that. She truly is brilliant. CaraLee's wisdom is supernaturally-inspired. Even though she's only in her early 30s, CaraLee is often the target of advice-seekers of all ages. People truly respect her rational, down-to-earth ideas. I say "supernaturally-inspired" because her wisdom comes from a deep relationship with God. CaraLee takes "devotions" to a new level. Each night - before we go to sleep - we read. I enjoy my mindless novels while she'll actually claim to enjoy books about prayer, child-rearing, and being a better wife. All of this contributes to God's gift of wisdom in her. People also know her to be very thoughtful. CaraLee isn't one to give a quick answer just to keep a conversation going. If she doesn't have anything to say, she doesn't say anything. Sounds simple enough, but there are many of us (me) who could learn from this lesson. Finally, CaraLee is gentle. People who spend time with my wife leave with a feeling of peace. It's like everything is right in the world, or that there is hope. I don't know if it's a compliment to be compared to your mother-in-law, but this is a quality I had only seen in my mom prior to CaraLee. (But my mom is still stronger than CaraLee. She can lift big couches.)

The CaraLee that most people don't know is the one I get to enjoy. Where so many "marriage-experts" laud the virtue of compromise in a relationship, so few people make that choice to be flexible. I have seen my wife look introspectively and make life changes in order to make our relationship better. Where most people want to be right, CaraLee wants peace and harmony.

CaraLee is an amazing mother. When I look at the positive qualities in my kids, I can't help to realize that there's a definite source for those strengths... and they ain't in my genes. Both David and Connor are so bright. They seem to pick things up with such ease, but I know that the foundations were set when CaraLee reads to them, sings to them, prays with them and generally spends time with them. When I see my beautiful daughter, it's a forgivable slip to call her CaraLee... the greatest compliment she'll be given.

My wife truly is my best friend. We've traveled through Southeast Asia, Europe and down the west coast of the U.S. Even now, we're planning our trip to the Caribbean and I wouldn't want to do it with anybody other than my wife. Spending time with CaraLee is like being plugged-in. I feel recharged and ready to face the rest of the world.

This Valentine's Day I want to honour my wife. She has honoured me for almost 15 years. I love her more today than I did the day we were married. I am ecstatic about spending the rest of my life together with her.